Hola, again. I am writing this piece on 31st December morning and apparently this is going to be my very first and last post in 2020. It's a gonna be a slightly longer post than my usual as I am putting together my thoughts for the whole 12 months into a page.
I apologize for not posting anything for so long but not that sorry as well as so many wonderful things have happened to me this year. I guess everything came up balanced at the end of the day, huh? Also, there’s always a reason behind everything.
This year has taught me a lot. I didn’t expect to learn anything specific but I did become something that I wish I would’ve been earlier.
I was an observer.
To start, many things occurred to me this year. Not all nice and favourable, some are unfortunate. But I tried not to see it that way cause even the roughest and bumpiest road takes us somewhere. Therefore, every events ended up wonderfully, in a different way. They always found a way.
I was offered a promotion at my previous job, but it was not the right place so I quit. Got hired and moved to a new office, then I moved to a new apartment. Having to be in distress for so long in my previous job, I somehow got directed to a new road and I followed the path. I didn’t do anything much to fight for my justice during those hard times cause I know the favour won’t be on my side anyway. You know, some things are just not meant to be fight for, as in some people are just not meant to win a case, that’s just how society works (not to mention the office politics).
But then, is it really about winning?
Even if I win and got what I want, is staying there really what I want? So instead of causing scenes, I decided to just sit back and observe how the system goes. When I did that for several months, I noticed that there are many, many other things that I didn’t know, that my other colleagues were actually going through their own distress. Other people are facing different battles and trying to survive.
I realized that, not everything is about me. There is a much bigger picture out there.
I am just this small entity that completes the puzzle. I wanted to train myself more to be a reader, a thinker, an observer, a soul that merely wants to see the picture in a deeper way.
Being self-less is solid hard, no doubt. But we gotta start somewhere.
When we just sit back and observe, we learn more. It is easy to just complaint to others every time we’re being put in a complicated situation, we often share the problems and seek for resolutions from other people. But we don’t know what’s on their baggage, we don’t know if they are fully open and ready 24/7 to help us out. Some friends will always open their arms, but who knows they might be the one that need a shoulder to hold onto?
Who are we to add on our problems to other’s luggage?
If we spent more time to look around, we might notice that there are more people who truly need help than us. As a matter of fact, we can offer more than receive one. When we don’t put a full focus into our troubles, we’re putting less negative energy in both our mind and soul, and we don’t get mentally tired. Truthfully speaking, observing other matters that revolves around us makes us see a greater picture and leads us to be more grateful. Turns out, our problem is not as big as what’s happening out there.
If other people can survive, so can I.
Ask yourself often: “Am I observing the situation accurately or am I projecting how I feel onto what is happening?” - yung pueblo
Another thing about being an observer, is that not everybody wants to be helped.
Some people chose to fight their own battles, and all we've got to do is to not stick our nose on it. When we notice that they might not be handling things very well, it is hard to confront the truth to them bravely, but it is even harder to hold ourselves to not do anything.
Just don’t do anything. Let them be. Let them fight, let them learn from their own mistakes, let them grow.
We could never control other people but we could always control ourselves. Don’t try to fix everything, try to be there to lend a hand if asked.
Learn to sit back and observe. Not everything needs a reaction.
Always remember that just because we don’t react to something, does not mean that we didn’t notice. Let’s try to be less self-centered and imagine if we were put in a different shoes. We don’t need to be involved in every decision, we don’t always need to contribute. When we notice more, we think more, and it prevent ourselves from doing unnecessary actions. The most dangerous mind is the one who listens, thinks, and observes. Just kidding! Let’s scratch that. The most peaceful mind is the one who listens, thinks, and observes. Let’s still do that without being dangerous. Doable, isn’t it?
As the old saying goes,
“To acquire knowledge, one must study. But to acquire wisdom, one must observe.”
Being an observer does not separate us from the things that we observed. The quieter we become, the more we can hear, correct? The more ability we have to remain calm and control ourselves, the more we can see, learn, and absorb. There are something that you can only see when you slow down. Like when you’re driving to your hometown, you’re passing many things like old houses, meadows, rice fields, or a group of beautifully arranged trees. You won’t be able to see them if you’re driving the car 120km/miles, no? So take a slow ride, enjoy the scenery. Many views on the road are mesmerizing, so does this life.
On this last day of 2020, I realized that I didn’t change, I just see things differently now. I have observed for so long, and will keep doing so.
2021 Resolution: Master the art of observing.
Stay present. Let's observe more.